I just lived inception

After showing up at the wrong place for my "fitness testing" and having to run all the way (basically off) across campus, just to be further fitness-tested...I decided it would be a good idea to get in a quick 20 minute nap.

Here's what ensued...

I wake up super tired and not ready to go to my next class (nothing new here). As I get ready to risk my life (once again) by attempting to climb down the ladder from my left without being fully awake, I notice that my bedding is all messed up and my clock is dangling off the side...and I WAKE UP (but for real right?....no). After waking up, I immediately think about how that was the craziest thing ever and plan to tell all of my friends next door...and on the way down the ladder again, I WAKE UP (FOR REAL). Wtffff? I blame a multitude of things, but more importantly, I condone crazy 20 minute naps whenever possible.

Recent insights into Reconciliation

I think I'll almost always be the first to admit that I have a very elementary knowledge of my faith. Do I believe and have a fervent faith? Absolutely yes, but one of the greater reasons that I chose to come to Notre Dame was so that I could grow in my knowledge of the Catholic faith. While talking to a couple of my friends, we discussed the fact that (from her theology class) you can't "understand" until you first have faith, which I think is where I currently stand.

Recently I've been reflecting on the Sacrament of Reconciliation and what it means to me after listening to a FIDES group lecture about Reconciliation. Reconciliation was always something I found kind of "funny" in the sense that I wasn't sure why it really is only found in Catholicism (I mean it couldn't have just meant that Catholics commit much worse sins than the rest of the Christian community and therefore had to confess to the priests and do penance, but nonetheless...I wasn't sure). In light of recent conversation and events, my personal understanding of Reconciliation is more for the benefit of us (rather than any punishment or requirement that God had sent down on us). At the most stripped down level, no matter what we do or how terrible a sin we commit, God will always forgive us because His love is absolutely unconditional. However, the harder part (yet less important in the grand scheme of things) is the difficulty of us as finite humans to leave any guilt or disappointment behind and forgive ourselves. The priest is present there not only to help mediate between you and God (ie: keeping you honest with yourself in actually coming full front and naming your sins aloud) but also to offer guidance and support to you and your personal ability to deal with and accept/forgive yourself. I find this truth about Reconciliation personally eye-opening and beautiful in every way. As short and rudimentary as this post is, these are the current thoughts that have been swirling around in my head and I thought I'd jot them down. I'll add more later as I continue to think about and talk about things.

The First Update

The other day my psychology professor said, "you can't know how it felt to be a freshman in high school anymore because that person is dead." And in the case of my blogging, he is absolutely (though kind of sadly for me) correct. All of the new experiences and new friends that I met at the beginning of the year that I was planning on blogging about...can no longer be accurately recorded because my perception of said events have most likely changed since being first perceived (or maybe that's just my academic scapegoat of a reason not to go back and blog about everything I wanted to...so I can stop ignoring my blog and actually start posting).

I feel like I've moved out of the "college as a hotel/vacation" stage and feel very much more grounded in things now. I know where my lectures are, I know where to get my grilled cheese and occasional cereal at the dining hall, I know how to efficiently get ready in 20 minutes (just like old times...including a shower, might I add), and I know how to do my laundry. Generally, I feel like I've adjusted to college life, but there's still that inkling feeling of college as "not-real-life." I still catch myself thinking, "when camp's over and I'm home...I can't wait to see my family and lounge around on the couch" or waking up and expecting to see my "old room" back home. Nevertheless, I absolutely love it here at ND and only become more and more assured that I am exactly where I should be at this point in my life. This means that, even when I'm walking to calculus at 8:27 am in 28 degree weather (it's ONLY november!!!) after sleeping much less than the healthy number of hours, I look around and am so grateful and blessed to be a part of the Notre Dame family and experience.

So here's a quick list of updates on my experiences thus far (might I remind you that I still don't enjoy merely listing events or daily activities in my blog and I'm sure you don't enjoy reading a long list, but I thought this one time would be forgivable).

NDSO: during the first couple of weeks at ND, I auditioned for the ND Symphony Orchestra and made it in. I'm towards the back of the first violins and I love it. Though I miss all of my close friends in orchestra (especially being able to laugh when Jenny and I mess up) and the family-feeling of orchestra, I still love being in orchestra and the fast-paced and advanced level of a more real college symphony. We have our first real concert this Friday.

FIDES: I joined a faith-based group through campus ministry that meets once a week in small groups and once a month in a large group with a guest speaker. Unfortunately I can never make it to listen to the guest speaker because I'm busy reacting really awesome chemicals and calculating fantastic percent yields in chem lab (poor attempt at sarcasm, sorry), but the small groups are a lot of fun.

Center For Social Concerns: I got accepted to a program that seeks to educate and reveal the truths about "Urban Poverty and Homelessness" as well as immersing you in that type of atmosphere for a month. I felt especially called to this CSC seminar because the week-long immersion is in Portland during my last week of winter break. My once a week extra classes for this seminar start next week and I am super excited to meet my group and learn about urban development together.

Psychology: Not sure if this deserves its own special bolded subtitle, but since being here I've become even more interested and convinced that I should pursue a double major in biological sciences and psychology. Though I am still in a "exclusive relationship" with becoming a trauma surgeon someday, I can't deny my love and passion for psychology. I've been looking more and more into opportunities in neuroscience, neuropsychology, and behavioral psychology. I'm hoping to contact a professor about joining his lab on circadian rhythms sometime within this next week.

Fall Frolic: My dorm (Walsh Hall), aside from being the best dorm on campus, is holding its annual fall frolic dance this Friday that is "Catholic school-girl themed." I'm not super sure about what that is going to entail or what I'm going to wear, but I hear it's fun?

Turning over a new leaf: So all of those beautiful leaves that were in bloom a couple of weeks ago are now all over the ground, and consequently in need of pick up. While I thoroughly regret not taking more pictures of campus during the most beautiful "fall" I've ever experienced, I am excited about raking leaves for the elderly in the South Bend community on Saturday because (1) it helps out the people who may not be able to rake their own leaves anymore and (2) we get to jump in the leaves!

So I hope that fantastic list of stuff (that is probably missing a lot of other stuff that's been going on) can satiate you rabid readers for now...

-Yours truly

The coming of August may bring...

MASSIVE PANIC ATTACKS OF REALIZATION.

Why yes, I have been avoiding the topic of leaving for fear of mind melting. So the only logical thing to do? Clearly, atleast for me (someone who likes to think she has a grasp on her own feelings and certain psychological bizarre oddities), was to completely ignore the subject in every way. It was probably a valiant effort made up of NOT JUST fooling others, but even myself (gasp). For example:

plan 1: Nonchalantly telling people that I was excited to spend the summer relaxing and getting ready for college (thinking college would never come...oh august, how you seemed so far back in june, okay in july too).

plan 2: Taking a not-so-coincidental hiatus from blogging often ("if i don't address it, it won't happen...right?)

plan 3: Hiding my extreme anxiety and nervousness about leaving, with sheer excitement, obsession, and making unfulfilling friendships with new classmates via fb.

plan 4: If I don't pack up my stuff/beginning organizing the tornado that is my room, I won't actually have to leave. (this is still a viable plan...maybe just by default of my messiness)

plan 5: mini implosion. (this seems most plausible at this point)

Alas, all of these plans have come to no avail. It is August, and the ND alumni club sendoff picnic yesterday, purchasing of unreasonably large suitcases (there is NO need for anyone to have this many large suitcases...except for maybe...the biggest overpacker, yours truly), constant reminders from friends and family (no, the casual..."do you realize we're moving away and that our lives are going to change for ever?" questions do NOT fare well with the average ever-nervous-soon-to-be college freshman), and persistent dreams/nightmares (curse you subconscious) have made it glaringly obvious that I am approaching the last two weeks of my time in Salem for the summer. Though I like to think I'm fairly logical and understanding of my situations, I am completely dumbfounded by this entire transitional period and I don't know what/how to feel anymore. But mostly, I'm just scared of growing up.

*note, this entire post may or may not have been written in an impulsive state of mind and therefore most likely reflects the true opinions and statements of the author.

My new home: Walsh Hall

So it's been a while...and I've truly been wanting to blog, but I still have no idea how I feel (much less how to explain how I feel) about the fact that I'm moving on to the next part of my journey in less than 3 weeks (AHHHHH).

It is...

exciting, nerve-wracking, and absolutely surreal.

But here's a picture of my beautiful new home.

I feel so blessed and confident that I made the right choice in ND. On my visit last April, I had seen Walsh and automatically wanted to live in the dorm. At the center of campus, in God quad, Walsh has the best location. And being an older dorm, Walsh has tons of tradition and an established community feel. The room assignments were completely random (save for the fact that we knew we wouldn't be roommates with anyone with the same zip code...not that there's anyone else from Salem headed to ND). And even this relatively small detail on my premature trip to ND, makes me feel that God is up there (probably laughing) and ever present in this decision.

YMA 2010: Counselor version

Why hello again.

It has been so long, and I have experienced so much since the last time we met.

Going back to YMA this year as a counselor was the perfect way for me to spend a good chunk of my rather short summer (yes, I understand ND gets out in May...but I still graduated in June thank you). Again, I had an amazing musical experience playing the entirety of Dvorak's 8th Symphony as well as Haydn's "Surprise Symphony." We also accompanied the first movement of Shostakovich's 2nd Piano Concerto and the second movement of of Bach's A minor concerto (both were slightly let downs as far as accompaniment goes from last year...but oh well). It's definitely times like these at YMA, playing amazing symphonies, that I become momentarily disillusioned from doing anything but playing music...surely, I'll continue to play in symphonies for as long as I can. I also continue to love my newish violin (I will never regret this decision).

As a counselor, however, the musical euphoria was half of the experience. I never realized how much more counselors at YMA had to handle.

At one point, I found myself in a practice room (my violin case unopened in a corner), trying to fix my devilish contact (I later retired to using my glasses), with a bawling camper. She was the stereotypical "that one camper girl," atleast in my judgmental mind. I had already "sized her up" as the one young girl with lots of problems who may or may not have been terrible at the violin.

I am an idiot.

As I tried to calm her down, I noticed that I was just blabbering about my own random crap. I soon shut up and solely listened (silent listening is so underrated). I soon realized that she was probably one of the most mature campers that I had ever met. She completely understood about herself and her own needs/habits better than I probably do at a whopping 18 years of age. As camp went on, she had her highs and lows, but I also went and "listened." And at the end of the day, she told me that I was "super wise and good with my words," but I wish I had turned around and told her how much I had personally learned from her. I was reminded again to never judge and learned the power of listening.

That experience seemed most powerful to me, but YMA 2010 was filled with many other YMA-zing times, and I loved camp that much more as a counselor.

I hope to be back again next year.

Wilderness Excursions

So I always start off my "vacation posts" with a little rant on how I hate writing them. I think I've figured out that it's because I'm too lazy to post the extra pictures and videos. Similarly, I don't enjoy writing play-by-play posts merely listing what happened...so here's just a little insight into my weekend in the Wilderness of Oregon with the family.

We wanted to go somewhere, we just didn't know where. Mom chose Welches, OR. Why? I don't know, but it's usually a common guideline to not complain after stating that you "didn't care." So we were off to Welches, OR to stay a couple of nights in what turns out to be...more or a less a shack (this might actually warrant a picture). I was a little apprehensive when I realized that there was in fact no wireless signal and the "wi-fi" that they claimed to have didn't really work (or if it did, it worked after the patient 15 minutes that I was willing to wait to see if google would load). Though I consequently decided that I would need to live in a larger, progressive city (like PORTLAND!), the secluded, quiet shack in the wilderness was extremely relaxing. Being surrounded by the trees, with one main room (that served as the living room, family room, kitchen, dining room, etc), the house allowed all of us to forget the troubles and stress of the real world. When we weren't hiking the beautiful trails around the lakes nearby, we were spending time together, toasting marshmallows, playing bananagrams, watching movies, reading, and just enjoying ourselves. Though I may have admittedly tried to access as much of my facebook as we drove through more populated towns, I was grateful for the limited access to technological interferences. I love the outdoors, and I love my family.

I'm headed to YMA tomorrow for counselor training, and camp starts on Sunday. Ahhh, I'm so excited and slightly nervous at the same time. Hopefully I can provide as good of an experience I had last year for my campers. Au Revoir!

Hiccups

Today I had the hiccups or medically speaking, synchronous diaphragmatic flutter SDF (thanks wikipedia). While a bout of hiccups may seems relatively harmless, I was terribly bothered by the hiccups today. They plagued me repeatedly for several minutes at a time. And each time I got them (for the most part), I had to stop what I was doing and try to remedy the situation quietly so as to attract little attention (note: this is difficult to do when your hiccups are uncontrollably loud and random). Why my hiccups are never cured by the average remedies (including but not limited to: drinking water, drinking water upside down, holding my breath, getting scared) is beyond me (curses). How could something so lame be such a monumental physical annoyance?! I found myself wondering why, why in the world would I have to get hiccups today, a day when I'm supposed to be in Portland shopping for yma-nametag-making materials with Andrew, or practicing violin for my recital, or watching a silent film (ok...not really, but the irony was hilariously relative to other daily activities)?

I type this during the "calm before the storm." The reoccurence of my hiccups is entirely inevitable, but I do find solace (or utter fear?) in knowing that this pest of an obstacle could have been much worse >> apparently Charles Osborne had the hiccups for a world record 68 years and still managed to live a normal (or as normal as you can get when you appear in the guinness book of world records) life.*

*I could have easily turned this into a "moral of the story" type of blog. Aren't you glad I didn't? Me too.

2010 NBA CHAMPION LAKERS

Thursday June 17th, 6:00pm

Lakers 83, Celtics 79

Officially the best worst NBA finals game I have ever watched.

Lakers shot 32.5%

Ron Artest for 20 pts.

Kobe goes 6 for 24.

Gasol for 19pts and 18 rebounds.

If you know me, or even slightly pay attention to my wardrobe, you know that I am a self-proclaimed die-hard fan. I've watched almost every game of the season (I'm pretty sure I can count the ones I've missed on a single hand), and it angers me when people who know nothing try to bandwagon into the Laker fan club. I know the roster and all of the reserves by heart, and I owe it all to dad. One of the things I'm going to miss most when I head off is cheering on the Lakers with dad at home (which usually entails of screaming, yelling, and occasional coaching at the screen in certain circumstances, I wouldn't have it any other way). This is why this nba finals game 7 performance was probably celebrated more enthusiastically than graduation (in my mind). In a game that looked terrible for 3+ quarters, the Lakers finally pulled it off(with a huge thanks to ronron's great performance, pau coming through at the end, and derek fisher's momentous 3 pointer) * and beat the Celtics (gah I hate you boston). What a storybook ending to my senior year. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

*interestingly, (i hate to do this...well maybe not) the lakers' season and outcome was very similar to that of the Sprague Camerata this year. Back2Back Champs. I'm not complaining.

GO LAKERS!

Commencement 2010 (as a mere formality)

Well, it finally happened. The even that always seemed so distant and untouchable...happened.

I graduated. Friday June 11th, 7:00pm at Sprague.

And though I wished I could have written a post about how Commencement concluded/summarized my entire high school career...I can't, because Commencement was a mere formality (that I may or may not have been willing to end at times). It seems like many people build up this anticipation that graduation night will be the "best night of their lives." Though it is a great celebratory night, I for one would NOT want things to go downhill from this night (best means it won't get better, right?). So if it wasn't the best night of my life and it wasn't that miraculous conclusion of all things, then what was it? It was graduation (nothing more nothing less). As I sat there with a surround sound of hissing (the beautiful noise of people blowing up ridiculous amounts of inflatable animals), looking out at disrespectful peers talking through speeches, and hysterically laughing at the fact of graduating, I realized that this would not be the moment to sum up my entire time at high school. Instead, this was the last "hoop" I had to jump through to move on to different things. Instead, I would cherish and remember those lasting friendships that I made during high school. I would remember that time Jenny lost our fractionally distilled (for the third time) Sludge test, that time Caroline and I made up a completely useless song on Roman rulers, the time I first job-shadowed at the hospital, the times we cram studied for all of our tests, the times we cried in orchestra, the state performances in orchestra, the battles in mythology, the conversations with burleson and mcelliott, the time the principal pulled into the visitor spot next to me and shooed me away, the hysterically chaotic chemistry class after my first ap test (apush), the woes of the research paper, writing college essays, and the list goes on. All of these memories, at least to me, are so much greater and more valuable than "commencement."

On the other hand, I do have to include one sappy memory from commencement.

7 years ago, I attended Tom's graduation (class of '03). And as a 5th grader, I wondered if I could be the valedictorian when I graduated (would i be able to? was it too hard?). I decided on that humid graduation night, that I would become a valedictorian. And I did. It meant less to me in terms of the actual honors than it did in terms of fulfilling a childhood goal that I had made for myself (one that I at one time thought to be near impossible). So here's to a commencement huzzah to contrast my earlier thoughts (though, I hope my earlier comments still stand...they do right? this is still my blog right?).

And with that, I will add pictures and give a little summary (maybe a video of the madness later).

Pictures up top...because I'm too lazy to move them.

Thursday morning awards assembly: Outstanding student in science award? what in the world? haha. I still thought mrs.koepl hated me...oh well. Overall the assembly was long, but I appreciated the opportunity to support all of my friends in their recognition.

Thursday night: Jenny comes over for no apparent reason (aka to get up at 4:30 in the morning to stand in line to enter the stadium and claim our seats for grad). We fall asleep to kor dramas and (fittingly or not) sleep through the alarm...Fidelis angrily calls us at 5:45 am. We grab coffee and speed off to school.

Friday morning: We stand in a crazy, essentially angry, mob-like line (or line-like mob) as we wait for the gates to open at 8. At 8, everyone rushes past (this was more violent than it seems...shout out to those who got trampled/lost shoes/fell, jenny was all of the above rofl). We managed to sit near where we wanted, but again...seating is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things (and I only participated in this granfalloonery for celebratory purposes).

Friday night: We graduated. Principal spoke. Student speaker spoke. Camerata seniors played Viva La Vida (by coldplay, arr. by vitamin c string quartet). Valdictorians and Salutatorians were recognized. Student speaker #2. Receiving diplomas (or, I guess, empty diploma cases). Move tassels. The end.

Saturday early morn': All night graduation party at the courthouse. I remember nothing (though I have vague recollections of sumo wrestling...and gambling).

Saturday morning: Korea wins its first World Cup game of 2010. Korea 2, Greece 0 (I will be following this for the next month, prepare for updates).

uhmmm...what?

I'm graduating on Friday?

what the mother?

unreal.

Frustrations and Volunteering

I can't believe it's June (mainly because it's still raining in beautiful Salem). Currently, I'm so so so so so frustrated/mad at myself for not practicing. Nothing seems to be going right (as it should be), but at the same time...none of my passages are getting better while the looming recital date gets closer and closer. Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much for music (I don't plan on pursuing it and by golly I won't be taking lessons at Notre Dame), but then I always stop and realize that it's just who I am. I love music (well, most music) with an undying passion. Poop. Hopefully tomorrow goes better because I've retired for tonight...probably a good thing.

On a happier note, I volunteered at Salem Hospital for the last time today. While things begin to end and I do "things" for the last time (the last orchestra festival, the last assignment, the last peanut butter and jelly for lunch, the last monday, etc) I'm always saddened with existentialist thoughts, but the hospital was a different story. Did I have some memorable moments in the trauma dept? yes, did I get another scholarship for volunteering? yes, but did I waste a ton of time? yes. There are certain volunteer jobs at Salem Hospital that either (a) should not be jobs for volunteers who for the most part are excited and interested in pursuing health care or (b) should be paid jobs...ie: filing, sanitation services, alphabetizing, vacuuming, "finding lost people," stapling, etc. I guess I can happily say that I volunteered for 300 hours at the hospital, but at the same time I vow to be much more aware of student volunteer treatment/torture when I'm a doctor. Many doctors around the hospital seem too busy to even look up and say "hello" let alone "thanks," and I'm promising right here and now on this blog that I will not be one of those.

Happy Birthday Hercules!

Happy 11th Birthday Hercules! You did it. Sorry about the whole moose costume thing...

The one where we get hit by a semi.

Sometimes my titles are erroneous.

This post, however, is an exception.

Friday, May 15th 2010.

After spending the night with some of the Camerata girls and fulfilling other traditions (rehearsal, breakfast, tattoos), the Sprague Camerata was on its way to OSU for another OSAA State Competition. Little did we know...3 miles from Corvallis, we would be hit by a semi. Apparently, school buses are bound by law to stop before a railroad crossing to open the bus door (yeah, I don't get it either). It always just seemed like protocol: the bus would stop and open the door...and everyone would laugh and wonder why we just stopped. Except this time, this semi-truck (shown below) was following too close, and decided it'd be a brilliant idea to hit

our school bus.

(Side note: you can see part of our bus on the side of the truck) Luckily the truck was able to swerve out of the way for the most part. So as much as some people wanted to blow the incident out of proportion (refer to title), the bus only just knicked the back, left corner of the bus.

When the crash was initially felt on the bus and the glass shattered (hitting the back of my neck, even at the middle of the bus), I was shocked/startled/surprised. Interestingly, I had Sasha (our leopard of a mascot) between my knees, which means that Sasha freaked out too:

Some of you may know that Sasha has an intimidating roar that shares when squeezed. Anyways, that was the gist of the crash. We were able to arrange our performance time to the last possible spot, and basically just lied on the floor and tried to recover until then (at OSU).

On stage, we performed the 3rd movement of the David Diamond Round for Strings, and the 4th and 5th movements of Dvorak's Serenade for Strings. The State rep, within itself, is an amazing feat for a public HS orchestra and we all felt super proud/excited to share our love of music with the audience and adjudicators. The performance itself seems like a blur to me now, but I almost always have fun performing on stage (given I'm prepared...which admittedly isn't all the time haha) and this time was no different. After the performance, it seemed as if everyone felt different parts were better or worse, but as a whole we felt pretty accomplished walking into and out of the sight reading room (just so I can document this: the sight reading piece of Alice and Wonderland was a ridiculous excuse of a piece). Okay so then we took pictures in concert attire...

and ate lunch, before coming back for round 2. Round 2= Symphony. Words can't explain how excited I was to perform and be done with "Symphony" for the rest of my life. I've always spoken so fondly of my experiences in different symphonies on my blog, but I guess I've never mentioned Sprague Symphony (the bane of my existence) so I'll take a second here to inform any ignorant passerbys. Even though you may be thinking about "what a wonderful opportunity" it is to be apart of a school symphony or how "great/exciting/fun/musical" your experience in the Sprague Symphony was, things have changed. In Symphony, you sit in 2.5 hour rehearsals every tuesday and 1.5 hour rehearsals every friday (who schedules rehearsals on fridays?!!!) watching the same sections attempt to play/learn their parts every week. At some point, your time becomes very valuable (namely around college apps, SAT, AP testing, american idol, etc) and you wonder why you are sitting and rotting in an absolutely useless rehearsal...that was symphony every week. *sigh* So the rant went longer than expected...but I'm glad it's out there. Carrying on...Symphony performed Schubert's Unfinished Symphony and 2 movements of Bizet's Carmen. I know this is terrible, but I couldn't help but celebrate between each piece (or even between each bar) that it would be the last time playing said section with said symphony forever. Much to everyone's surprise, the symphony actually performed better than it's ever sounded before (props...i guess). After the symphony performance and sightreading, the day was almost over...minus waiting for the awards ceremony.

To be continued...(Man I hate coming back to an unfinished blog...especially when it's "rehashing" in nature)...

Awards ceremony shouldn't be as big of a deal as it has been made over the years. In all actuality, State Orchestra Competition shouldn't be as big of a deal. Personally, I truly don't agree with competing in music or forming musical rivalries. Music should be a shared experience given from an honest and enjoyable place in your own heart. And there has to be something terribly wrong when you implement certain musical ideas in hopes of "accumulating points" rather than for the better expressive character or mood of the piece. Actually, this can be applied to most things in life (I think). Points suck. But I digress (hey, this is my blog after all). Anyways, everyone was hyped up for the awards ceremony. And lots of cheering, nervous emotion, and drumrolls later....we did it again! Sprague HS Camerata is the 2010 Champions in the String Orchestra Division. After everything that our orchestra had been through, I was so happy for everyone. We finally triumphed over our issues (spanning from musical opinions to extreme anger to uncooperative leadership...that's NICELY put...haha) and finished as deserving champions. While rival schools like to jab at us and say we only won due to our high sight reading scores, I think, while that may be true on paper, that we deserved it this year (more than last year). Our music was crazy hard. And we're just better. :) and humble.

I won't lie, orchestra this year has been tough sometimes. Sprague Camerata has undeniably turned the corner and changed into a new character and quasi type family (and I miss the old Cameratas that I've been apart of over the years), but I'll miss it. And Jenny (when you're out there creeper stalking my blog...aka your favorite page), I'm not going to miss you because you're frickin coming with me to college.

THE END.

happy may: things are wrapping up!

My lame title sums it up (which is I guess what titles are for...except great expectations...which IMO is neither great nor expectationable...yeah i made that up), things are wrapping up for this amazing, learning, and eventful senior year.

I don't know if I mentioned this in any of my posts from a long time ago, but I had been looking forward to/dreaming of May 1st for a ridiculously long time. May 1st is the officially official date of enrollment confirmation. I finally have a grasp of what's in store for me in the next 4 years! And May 1st also marks the day of Sprague Prom 2010 (i may add a picture a later).

I'm still in awe of the unspoken rule that has turned Prom into a 24 hour (and even 48 hours in some cases) event, but we participated regardless. Our group was really chill (Zach and I, Brandon and Caroline, Madison and Jared, Anders and Kaitlyn, and Alex and Emily). In the morning, we got picked up by "santa" aka anders for homemade breakfast (yummmy), and then headed off to the Oregon Zoo. It was a blast, but I have to admit I vowed never to go back to a zoo ever again (i couldn't help but feel incredibly sad for the captive animals...for what? human entertainment...no further comment). We had lunch and came back, got ready, and went to the dance (at the fairgrounds...curse you juniors...prom was better last year) in a limo. woooo. I've decided that the amount of fun had at Prom is inversely proportional to the amount of sleep/rest had (as most things are...). Wooo Prom.

Today (day after prom) also marked the end of my time in the Salem Youth Symphony. We performed Mendelssohn's Hebrides Overture, accompanied Andrew on Hadyn Cello Concerto in C major, and (1st, 2nd, 4th movements of) Tchaikovsky's 5th Symphony. It was a valiant effort. haha. I'm so glad I did SYS this year and really enjoyed just having the opportunity to play such masterpieces, and I can't wait to be in the symphony at Notre Dame!

Follow up on that Marion-Polk Premed scholarship I was a finalist in: I showed up for an interview (relatively at ease) and it turned out to be one of the most frightening situations ever. Imagine a super long table (maybe two times my dining table) with 8 doctors (all male) sitting on one end. Now sit at the other end in a cold chair and answer questions. errrrm. yeah. All things considered, I actually felt really confident in the interview and felt like I was able to convey most of what I wanted (minus the fricking "what would you do if your bulimic friend confided in you?" question). In the end I won a $2K scholarship. WIN!

Alright, hopefully I add pictures later, but here's to probably the busiest may ever (and it's only been two days)! AP tests this week, State orchestra next week, and everything else awesome in between. ready set go!

My ND visit (admittedly two weeks late)

I may have mentioned this before, but I'm always partial to writing posts on my trips (sadly, the trips are probably the most interesting part of my experiences most times...i'm probably just intimidated by the thought of having to record every moment...)

So I'll make this brief and fun/picture-filled.

On Wednesday April 7th, mom and I set out for nowhere, Indiana (aka South Bend). Many transportation horrors later, we found ourselves on Notre Dame soil. Despite the freezing weather and general darkness of the night, I felt something so special, just being on campus.

The next morning, I woke up and met with my host who took me to her Spanish, International Relations, P.E., and Ochem lab. Tom's friend, Wendy also offered to show me around and eat lunch with me. Everyone was so welcoming and hospitable, but I was intimidated more than I like to admit by the weather. It snowed (yeah, it's still April in Indiana too). I also felt like I came on a stressful day for my host, who was clearly hosed with stuff to do so I kind of just let her get things done. I wanted to love my ND visit and first experience so much, but I was so conflicted. It wasn't everything that I expected, but I was angry at myself for having second thoughts (maybe it's too far, maybe it's too cold, maybe it's not for me). But I kept my hopes up, met back up with mom, and went on a campus tour for admitted students the next day. The tour guide was an enthusiastic bio major who shared many of the same interests and passions. The tour ended at the Grotto.

It was an unexplainable sensation, kneeling before the many lit candles at the Grotto for the first time. It was there that I confirmed my enrollment (not in the excessive amounts of paperwork). How could I ignore all of the opportunities God had given me. I felt so strongly called to Notre Dame, a place far away from everything I've known with (admittedly) uncomfortable weather and most importantly, a place where I can grow spiritually in my relationship with Christ.

Ahh I'm not sure all of my rambling makes sense, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm taking a big step in the direction God is calling. Here are the promised pictures!

okay. the pics aren't working. i'll add them later.

My essay: Tribute to Tony

I promised this essay in a post from a long time ago, and now that the application process is officially over (and I'm committed to ND, more on my visit next post) I feel privileged to share my experience with Tony with all of you. RIP Tony, I'm so glad God put you in my life.

I stepped into the dark room with zero confidence, holding nothing but a ballpoint pen and a legal pad. Smelling of yesterday’s leftovers, the room was suffocating and seemed to perfectly fit the description of “misery.” Slowly scanning the room, I saw no signs of active life and was immediately ready to turn 180 degrees and run out the door. Suddenly, I heard faint wheezing sounds from around the corner. And with that, I had missed my only chance to flee. I trudged over to a frameless mattress swallowing a frail, old man. When explaining the assignment, the nursing home administrators had told me it would be easy. I interview the man, jot down notes, and write a biography about his father, an immigrant with quite the eventful life. My interviewee, Tony, was a 94-year old resident with Alzheimer’s disease.

Attempting to hide my obvious doubt, I quickly introduced myself and began asking basic interview questions. Silence. Thinking he hadn’t heard me, I started again when he abruptly cleared his throat to speak. Suddenly the stories of his father and childhood poured out as if a massive dam had collapsed: Luigi worked on the toughest railroad in town, the ol’ family mutt once ran away, joyous tears at the first sight of the Statue of Liberty, piano lessons with his mother, playing baseball at family picnics… Frantically abbreviating words, I tried to capture all of the stories within that first hour. When it was time to go, I looked down at the legal pad to see nothing but scribbles of unrelated, fragmented memories.

The following week, I obsessively thought about Tony and his book. There had
to be a way to produce a decent biography, even with fragmented information and
an inexperienced high-school author. And if I was who I claimed to be, a relentlessly motivated person in every aspect, I refused to accept defeat. The book continued to consume my thoughts until I came upon a brilliant idea; I would write a modern style biography without any standard chronology. I returned to Tony’s room feeling proud
and enthusiastic about the innovative idea.

“Who are you?” Tony asked suspiciously.

My meetings with Tony continued in similar fashion for many weeks. I introduce myself, listen to stories, leave. My efforts seemed absolutely futile, but I left feeling
sorry for Tony’s efforts towards what he perceived as a viable biography. Unfortunately, I discovered it was virtually impossible to write a coherent biography with an Alzheimer’s patient as the narrator.

One week, I arrived as usual for what had become routine for me, yet always
a new experience for Tony. I found him uncomfortably hunched over, refusing to eat, and trembling from nervousness. He exclaimed that the editor was coming to edit and finalize the unfinished biography. I kneeled down next to Tony, put my arm around his tense shoulders, and told him that the editor had called to reschedule. His exhausted eyes lit up and he squeezed my hands with joy. Although he couldn’t remember my name, I felt like a part of him knew me as his friend. And at that moment, I knew. There was never going to be a biography. I had been so distracted by my determination to write the biography that I had lost the genuine purpose of giving myself to others. Tony didn’t need more people halfheartedly asking question after question, rather he yearned for someone to simply listen to his stories, a genuine friend, me. In Tony’s ecstatic embrace, I learned the true, intangible joy of service, whether the need be obvious or veiled. And though he can’t recall his test scores, average income, or relative fame, Tony holds fast memories of his family and closest relationships throughout his life, those moments that truly matter.
I felt humbled by Tony’s lesson and am constantly reminded to appreciate and hold dear those people who have always blessed me with unfailing support in my life, my family. Given perspective, I realized that much of my stress was trivial and unnecessary. Instead, it is the honest gift of self that remains as my most treasured quality, a spirit inside me reaching out to help others in any way, yearning to create lasting memories and friendships. Although Tony’s biography remains unwritten, he wrote a significant chapter that has become an indelible part of my own life and story.

Funny how things work out

Here's to the post I've been waiting to write for what seems an eternity.

Here's to the best weekend ever.

Here's to the funniness of faith. (hereby known as FoF)

Since my last post, as much as I was content with my efforts and whatever my future had in store, I couldn't help but be nervous and a little on edge (mom reports that I had a nightmare, but I have no recollection...maybe that's good). Fending off my CMC waitlist, I waited for Friday night to be hit with another waitlist from Emory. "It's okay, I didn't want to go there anyways." *Honestly, Emory was my least favorite school AND they lost two of my documents, that I had to resend...SEPARATELY (irestmycase). But I can't blame myself for getting a little down on myself, but I trudged past it with lots of support from mom and dad. blah blah blah

Saturday, March 27th approximately 2:30 pm.

"Dad, when does the mailman come?"

"Now."

"No really...when does he come?!"

"Around now! He comes early on Saturdays."

*i grab the mail key and attempt to "cooly" walk up the cul de sac to check the mail.

Sure enough, dad was right. The mailman was there "now." And it was made obvious that he didn't appreciate me slowly, curiously circling him and the mailbox. (if this has happened to anyone...it's more awkward than it seems, trust me) I didn't want to pester him so I decided to walk around the neighborhood, hopefully he'd be done when I got back. 5ish blocks later, I turned around at a quickened pace. Sure enough, the mailman was gone. And at this point, I sprinted to the mailbox and opened it. And sure enough, a large white envelope from Notre Dame, sent priority. Words can't explain how happy I was to see this (inside):

As I started to run home from the mailbox, I saw dad zip by in the car. Slamming on the breaks, he looked at me, and I held up the package (probably wildly gesticulating) and ran home. On my home, I ran into a distraught mom yelling my name as she ran up the cul de sac (note: our hill is a beast). Apparently, both of them had thought that I had gone missing/nerdnapped. If you recall, Hercules' adventure last year (http://jennaahn.blogspot.com/2009/04/adventures-of-hercules.html), I'm pretty sure it was exactly the same (with heightened worry of course). Sorry mom and dad! haha.

Here's the Funniness of Faith (FoF). Before applying to schools, I had a tough time discerning my priorities in my undergraduate education. I felt torn between lots of diversity and freethinking versus ND, appearing more conservative (obviously) and more spiritually appealing. I always wondered what I'd choose if I was faced, at the end, with a decision between another one of my favorite research schools and ND. Finally, I gave up on deciding and just applied everywhere...I could make the decision when the time comes. FoF (i'm imagining this to be along the lines of "lol"). FoF I wouldn't need to make the decision. It's been made increasingly clear that ND is the place where I'm called to go and grow in my faith and love of service (as well as academics, right?). I am so grateful and so in awe. FoF

More later, mom and I have officially planned our visit April 7th.

I am SO EXCITED.

Life Update

Well, I may never finish that last post (that was basically the gist of the trip anyways)...but atleast the multimedia thing worked out right?

Once upon a time, I had the most difficult winter break ever (thank you college apps/procrastination)...Unfortunately, the grueling nervousness has now soiled my spring break as well (atleast I'm not having to do anything this time). Spring break is almost over, and I did in fact have a wonderful time on vacation, but I am absolutely dying a slow death of anticipation, waiting for decisions that is.

Here's the update: I was accepted to Willamette, Pepperdine, and Bryn Mawr thus far. I was waitlisted at CMC yesterday which was extremely disheartening. I still have mixed feelings, but I was thankfully reminded of something important today. At this point, I am content knowing that I put everything I had into all of my applications. And even though a waitlist at CMC may appear to be dooming for the rest of my decisions, I can find peace in knowing that (even though I am freaking out and obsessively checking my computer) God's plan for me is great. As much as I wish He would let me know earlier and more specifically, I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.* And I am so grateful. :)

*This isn't to say that I'm going to be a crazy lady and be content with my own failures. God does have a plan, but I have to continue with my persistent efforts in order to fulfill His plans.

Here's to a good weekend!

ps. I got more good news. I was recently named a finalist for a "premed" scholarship I applied for. Not sure how it's going to work out, but I'm happy for the opportunity to job shadow a general surgeon (with his own clinic) and interview.

Spring Break Trip to Seattle/Vancouver BC

How come I always want to blog when I don't have anything to blog about...and not when I actually have tons to document?? I don't know, but here comes the mandatory post:

*not to say I didn't enjoy the trip, just overwhelmed with things to include (none of which are thought provoking)

With a "last Springbreak trip together" mentality, mom and dad threw this trip together last minute and we were on the road Friday the 19th. Coincidentally, my body decided to be a jerk and graced me with a cold on wednesday? yessss. First stop: McDonalds for a quick breakfast (*shame: ironically there was a long line in the drive-thru, full of fellow shameful Americans i'm sure) and we drove to Tacoma for a delicious lunch on the way to our final destination, Seattle. As much as the previously described drive seems relaxing and uninterrupted, mom's special dependency on the bathroom (which seems to curiously increase on roadtrips) was ever present (love you Mom). In Seattle, we stopped at good ol' SAM (Seattle Art Museum) and Pike Place Market.

I'm going to attempt something monumental and innovative here (cue video, props to flipcam)

*brace yourselves: i'm a little dizzy from playing some of the videos back...haha hopefully I get better, but if my video skills are anything like my photography skills...well there's really no hope.

here's a harmonizing street group:

The next day, we headed up to Vancouver bc. I love this city, but I couldn't help but notice the lack of...city? *haha I kept trying to picture what a true denizen of Vancouver bc would do daily, but there's not much besides tourist spots and banks. Personally, I would never be able to live in a city that is purely dependent on tourism. Anyways, I appreciated the leftover Winter Olympics 2010 enthusiasm (especially in the olympics super store: yes, I'm talking to the crazy chinese grandmas that cut me off in line and single handedly bought every good item in the store) as well as the city decor.

Then we spent the rest of the day at Stanley Park because the weather was so nice. We took a short little hike/walk (although we did want to ride the bikes). and saw some crazy trees. Here's a video of the nice view, and a failure video. haha

okay i'm sleepy. to be continued tomorrow (possibly)

Missing the Olympics...

Vancouver Olympics 2010 (February 12 to 28):

So I wasn't going to blog on the olympics at first; I found it hard to imagine being able to fit my love for olympics in one post without boring anyone with play by play summaries of every event (minus curling, because well...it's curling). So at 1am on a Thursday night/Friday morning, I'm still not sure how this is going to work, but here goes...

My Olympics Addiction (newly revised with commentary), "You know you love/miss the olympics when":

1. You watch the entire opening ceremony/parade of the nations from start to finish without tivo (i might have fast forwarded the "-stans" of the middle east-kazhakstan, turkmenistan, pakistan etc).

2. You hum the olympic theme song during your every waking hour (including choreographed hand motions) *I'm pretty sure my physics class can attest to this.

3. Due to your vicarious olympic experiences, you have a dream that you are actually an olympic athlete (when you wake up, you still believe it)-I had a strange dream that I was an olympic skiier in an even that combined downhill, slalom, and artistically falling of ski lifts

4. You cry/want to cry tears of joy when the medals are given (mainly only for the people you're rooting for)- something about the "triumph" factor always gets me. When I see other people finally achieve something that they've worked their entire lives for, day in and day out, I get a little teary. I am also the same person that teared up during the 08-09 nba Lakers Championship Ceremony. (but I don't cry in movies)

5. By rooting for your culturally identified team (Korea), you somehow become alienated (cue existentialism theme song) and are chastised by exceptionally patriotic Americans. Haha, not trying to start controversy here but, DAE HAN MIN GOOK!

6. You memorized all of top olympic athletes' names (even random skiiers from the Netherlands)

7. Your olympic-watching regularly consists of jumping up and down in front of the tv to get athletes to perform better/faster/stronger- you don't look weird because the rest of the family is right there with you. (applies to all short-track events).

8. You memorize the sucky commercials that NBC tortures you with for all 16 days of the olympics- you also reenact these often.

9. You forget how bad you really are at ice skating/skiing/hockey/etc- goes well with #3

10. More than two weeks later, you're still experiencing "withdrawals" and searching for something that will adequately fill the hole that the olympics have left in your heart- hence the pointless blogging (I really just needed to document my obsession).

Can't wait for summer 2012...

p.s. kim yuna was kind of a big deal this year.

p.p.s. as much as i try to be an understanding/nonjudgmental person, i hate ohno (maybe if i knew him as a person...). I have also been informed that there is ohno toilet paper in Korea. Glorious. also, he won zero golds this olympics.

Alright, that's it for now. If I remember anything, it will definitely be added to the list.

Sunny Saturday in Salem

To balance out my last post, I've decided to make this one short, light, and good (I feel better about my new posts by criticizing the previous post, the irony is great). Today was an incredibly fun day. We (from left: madison, me, jenny, and fidelis) started out this morning on an AP Art History scavenger hunt in downtown Salem, consisting of us wildly running around searching for the real residing places of the images on our "scavenger hunt list." What started out as a, "oh let's not go crazy/we don't have to win," quickly turned into a "whoa! we're doing really well/we could win!" as we began to run from picture to picture. And as documented by the picture that finally works (fingers crossed), we won. I consider it an awesome upset. haha. I spent the rest of the day at River Front Park with Caroline and Zach, practicing violin (I'm in the process of trying out 6 bows from the violin shop), and watching olympics/eating dinner with mom. Success.

I'm probably too young to be disillusioned, but...

It's around 1:04am right now (we'll see exactly how long this post takes me), and what better way to continue to procrastinate the mountain of statistics (a subject that I have decided really has no use beyond computing simple means and standard deviations...nothing else) homework I have left than to rant on a recent lecture about "the male gaze."

Disclaimer: I hate it when my peers try to be philosophical and "soapbox-y" because I feel that we really haven't "lived enough" to say anything truly worthwhile on societal issues like this one. Yet, I continue anyways. This makes me a hypocrite before I even begin my point. So we'll see how this goes...

Lately in AP Art History (don't get me started on how much I wish this class interested me) we have been studying the artist's large role in shaping an unrealistic womanly beauty that subjects a woman to demeaning and purely visual standards/categories that are pleasing to the "male gaze." The concept is basically explained by Raphael's quote, "...to paint one beautiful woman, I must see several beautiful women...But since there are not enough beautiful women, I use an idea."

As you might have already guessed, this topic put the class on a rather long tangent on society's effects on modern day images of women vs. men. I sleepily blew it off at first, it's not like this had been the first time that stereotypes and sexual innuendoes were discussed in class. But as I continued to halfheartedly listen to the discussion, I became very bothered and discouraged by the overwhelming amount of women conforming to society's, mainly men's, degrading visual standards. Not surprisingly, the male students agreed on the fact that beauty (disregarding any type of inner beauty by guideline of activity) was a combination of a woman's eyes, legs, butt, stomach, hair, and breasts. Again, "whatever, I'm not shocked." But then when the focus was shifted to the female students, I was actually quite disturbed by the obvious majority of the students who blindly accept all that the "male gaze" subjects the woman too. Topics discussed by the majority: forcing themselves to wear high heels (so their "butts would look good") even though they caused indescribably amounts of pain in simply crossing the street, beginning to wear makeup at the age of 11, and trying to look the skinny/curvy "Barbie model" type shape.

I really don't want to criticize the situation, though I do see it as discouraging and a direct effect of media (and the overpowering male dominance in producing media shows), but I did feel fairly confident in myself after the discussion. Needless to say, I really don't stress on my image (almost to the point of not caring too much, according to mom sometimes. haha). I wear sneakers everyday. I wear no makeup, and it literally takes me 15 minutes to get ready every morning. (Note to self: I'll probably view this as some sort of barbaric stage in my life when/if I ever start making a conscious effort to present myself). Regardless, I came out feeling absolutely blessed that I feel comfortable enough with myself to not have to worry about my appearance and what others may "judge me by." I won't get all sappy in Godly beauty, but I truly believe in it and appreciate the simplicity that it brings to my life. And whatever happens, I hope I hold this (most likely naive) ideal in my life forever.

Next post: Why society has subjected us to wear clothes. Lol, I kidddddd...

Bananagrams

*One of these days, I'll upload a picture that works...

I haven't posted in a while, and honestly I have nothing of substance to post about (not that my usual posts have substance...but you know). So I've taken this opportunity to (1) set a goal to add more pics/videos in my posts; apparently it adds flare, (2) talk about my new found possession, and my favorite (3) just blog because I can.

Bananagrams is the best game I've encountered in a long time. (disclaimer: I am an absolute "wordnerd")

I guess it's a frantic/speedy mix between Scrabble and crossword puzzles. As the name suggests (banANAGRAMS), you start with 21 tiles and create words that fit into a "crossword" in front of you and try to beat other players to the last tile (someone says peel when they're crossword is complete and all players need to pick up another tile simultaneously). The trick is to be able to quickly rearrange your letters/crossword at any given time to create new words. It's awesome (don't make fun of me...it's my blog). lol.

In other news (since this blog is pretty random/pointless anyways): LAKERS beat C*ltics in Boston today with the help of Kobe's clutch shot. 90-89. Hollinger better recheck those power rankings...

Now what?

So the long, drawn out process of trying to apply for the next four years of my life is somewhat over (though the torturous waiting doesn't seem much better than the phase of furiously writing out personal essays at very odd hours). However, the initial process of applying is officially over (and I did myself proud by finishing my last app around 3am before having to go on a mini orchestra trip on the due date...yes, it was sad that I couldn't procrastinate to my full potential) and Jenny and I greeted it by having a party*. So now it's over, and I am patiently (or not so patiently, but more obsessively following college websites/blogs) awaiting results in April while fielding off the inevitable slew of mandatory** "so...what are your plans for next year?/you applying to many schools in the east (cough ivy league)/where did you apply (the most explicit aka my favorite)?"

*said party may have consisted of putting in "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and simultaneously losing all consciousness on the couch.

**these questions do NOT need to mandatory people. If you have ever been in the oh-so-troubled-and-undecided-senior's shoes (or will be soon), you should know that these questions suck. period. stop asking them (and I will agree to stop mocking you).

Alright. I'm done. So now what?

That is the question. It's my last semester of hs and I don't want to spend it doing regular old hs things (and I especially don't want to spend it rotting/studying away). The way I see it, it's my last chance to live out my relatively carefree life at home with mom, dad, and hercules. So I throw this question out onto my blog not in hopes of getting a humanly generated answer, but hopefully some sort of crazy internet power will randomly poop me out an answer (obviously not going to happen). So I guess I pray about what to do with myself for this last, probably super drawn out semester, and will hopefully be back soon with something "extra" worthwhile.

Good news and brains

Good news and brains. Apparently they go hand-in-hand.

Last Monday, after barely surviving the first day back, I received some awesome news. I got a counselor position at the camp that I interviewed for over break (i guess i use "the camp" in fear that someone typing up the name will somehow be referred to this blog...haha). I was surprised by how much good news could alter my state of mind. I think I went from ridiculously tired and swamped in homework that I didn't do over break to---ecstatic and swamped in homework. So I rode that good news into the weekend.

Brains. I wasn't pompously speaking of my own.

On Thursday, we dissected sheep brains in anatomy. Although the excitement wasn't the same as the first time I saw a human brain (at a summer camp after sophomore year...sadly before the uprise of my blog), it was still better than the regular monotony of school. So I guess it gets a special mention? However there were tons of hands and utensils, but only two brains. Cue fighting over brains.

Oh Winter Break, where have you gone?

Today is indeed the dreaded Sunday (as my soph econ teacher once pointed out, the second to worst day of the year>>apparently the last day of summer is the worst) before school. The absolute last day of winterbreak 2009, the day reality, or maybe better put, homework hits. Judging by a quick scan of facebook (shudder), the excitement of returning to school is quite overwhelming. AP art history lovingly exploded and the ominous, unopened Hamlet on my desk continues to collect dust. Good thing I went bowling today. Tom found this good deal for unlimited bowling and pizza for two hours, so the Ahn's made the first family bowling trip.

Now where did the rest of the break go?

Oh yeah. College Apps.

I've already blogged on this numerous times before so I don't want to bore/burden anyone (aka myself), but if a blog mention/length of post corresponded to the amount of time I dedicated to said activity, I would be writing about College Apps for the rest of 2010. Thankfully it doesn't. The biggest deadline of january 1st or 2nd has passed and I have successfully submitted 6.5 applications (.5 for Rice...haha). I still have 3 left, but the bulk of it is over. Random comments: sometimes college app season makes you bipolar (i have a chance, i'm never getting in, whatever just send it in anyways, maaaaaybe i'll get in, nope, never, fml, whatever), I suck at bubbling installment number 2 (I bubbled the wrong essay topic on the commonapp? awesome), blogging experience seemed somewhat helpful. whaaa?, the "Why our awesome college?" essays are the absolute worst, sending an app from the random bubble tea place you found with free wi-fi is NOT a comforting feeling, you know it's bad when the post office lady recognizes you and asks "what college are you sending this to today?," waiting until April to find out is going to be the worst, etc. Anyways, for now: Hallelujah it's over (almost).

But I won't be super depressing...I had a wonderful Christmas with the family, beat Super Mario on the wii (mostly Tom), went shopping, watched the Lakers (obviously), uploaded lots of music (thank you iTunes homesharing), interviewed to be a counselor at camp, and ate my little heart out.